Rumble in the Jungle (9.181.020.M42)

odir2Glarsnot Bloodcurdle, the Ork warboss, sneered as he looked at the body of the dead Space Marine pilot which his boyz had found deep in the jungle, some distance from his crashed Imperial scoutship. The pinkies were scum, but until now he had no idea how debased they were. How dare they seek to defile the renowned Idol of Mork? It was sacrilege!

The warboss smashed his heavy armoured foot to the ground in anger, temporarily causing his pet squig, Mr. Bitey, to dart behind a tree in panic.

deadpilotThe conspiracy had become clear from the operations orders that one of Da West End Boyz had found while rifling the pilot’s body for loot. A group of renegade Space Marines had apparently learned of the wealth of the Idol. Tired and bored of orders from higher command to paint all of their suits and vehicles in an impossible orange tiger-stripe pattern, they had decided instead to undertake a little private initiative and steal the Idol from the jungle planet of Theta Gilgano. Lacking Imperial authorization for their adventure, they found allies in an unlikely place: a greedy Chaos sorcerer and his Slaanesh-worshipping troops.

The plot might not have been revealed until it was too late if the Marine pilot hadn’t flown to close to a trigger-happy mob of dakka boyz. That many shootas were bound to hit something.

It was still dark, but there was no time to lose. Bloodcurdle gestured to a Big Mek who seemed bent on shoving a  small, whimpering green figure down a very small and highly-electrified metal pipe of some sort. “Deztrukt! Git yer gits ‘n gun ‘n git movin.. yer in da advance guard.” The warlord then shouted to the Nob in charge of the dakka Boyz who had downed the flyer. “Youz too.. seize der hill and den wait fer me.”

The Nob nodded, and urged his boyz on. “Let’s go stomp dem pinkies, ladz… dis ‘ere is gunna be a rumble in da jungle!


Capture and Control, Dawn of War deployment. The two objectives are a dead Marine pilot located near the southeast corner of the board, and an Orkish idol located on a hill in the northwest corner.


The Orks field 2,000 points, consisting of one large unit each of dakka Boyz and choppa Boyz; two smaller units of choppa Boyz in trukks, a unit of grots led by Big Mek Zelfdi Deztrukt and his Shokk Attack Gun, a unit of Tank Bustas, a squadron of two Killa Kanz, three Deffkoptas, a Looted Wagon (with boomgun), and finally a unit of Meganobz in a trukk, led by Glarsnot Bloodcurdle himself. They deploy to the south.

The renegade Space Marines field approximately 1,000 points, including two squads in two Rhinos, a Whirlwind, a Dreadnaught, and a unit of Sternguard (with a Librarian) in a Drop-pod. Chaos also fields approximately 1,000 points, including a sqaud of Chaos Space marines with an attached Sorcerer (and Lash of Submission), a squad of Noise Marines in a second Rhino, a Vindicator, a Predator, and a unit of demons. they deploy to the north

The Battle

damapBloodcurdle shouted at his men to advance faster, cuffing with his fist one who seemed more intent on fiddling with a small metal box than rushing headlong into battle. Sadly, the effect of “cuffing” was dramatically amplified by the warboss’ armoured exoskeleton, and the unfortunate Ork combat photographer was beheaded. There would be no pictures of this battle.

The Orkish strategy, such as it was, was this: The Big Mek and Grots were deployed in a central woods where they had cover and a good field of fire. The Kanz were nearby, also assigned a fire support role. To their right, the objective was guarded by the Looted Wagon, with the Tank Bustas and dakka Boyz moving further forward, and the Meganobz held back in their trukk as a mobile reserve. To the left, the large unit of Choppa boyz and two smaller units in trukks would look for an opportunity to dash forward to rescue the Idol. Deffakoptas darted around the battlefield as needed.

The initial ork shooting was largely ineffectual, stunning one Rhino in the centre but doing little damage to anything else. As feared, the Slaanesh sorcerer moved close enough to use his lash, forcing the Grots and Big Mek out of the woods and into the open where they could be pounded with fire from the Whirlwind and other blast weapons. Many grots died (but then again, that’s what they’re for), as did quite a few choppa Boyz deployed nearby. On the right, the Vindicator and Dreadnought started to pound the dakka Boys with deadly effect.

Clearly, the Orks couldn’t afford to sit back, or they would blown to pieces. All across the Ork line units advanced, even if it meant loosing control of their original objective. Standing tall in his Trukk, Bloodcurdle shouted and pointed at a distant riverbank, from where the Vindicator, Rhino, and Dreadnought had fired on his boyz. Those would be his personal targets. A bloodthirsty cheer went up from his troops–so bloodthirsty, in fact, that it encouraged the crew of the Looted Wagon to push the big red button marked “Go.” Far from providing a single round of boomgun support during the battle, they spent much of it careening forward while singing loud Orkish drinking songs.

droppodSuddenly there was a woosh, the blinding brightness of retrorockets being fired, and the clanging of steel doors. The renegade alliance had clearly decided that the grots (or, perhaps, the Shokk Attack Gun) were enemy #1, and had landed the Drop-Pod a scant few paces in front of them (or it). Sternguard poured out, emptying their powerful weapons and deadly effective specialized ammunition into the mass of green bodies. Still more grots fell to the ground. Firing back with their pathetic little blastas, however, the little green buggers shot down no less than three of the attacking squad (well, the Shokk Attack Gun helped too), evening up the score just a little.

A little further towards the centre, the Sorcerer and his Marines had piled out of their vehicle. Seeing this, a unit of choppa ‘Ard Boyz in a trukk raced forward and disembarked. Bloodcurdle declared a Waaagh, allowing them to advance still further. They assaulted the hated enemy before he could once more use his Lash. In a close-fought melee the Orks were depleted, but finally triumphed.

Zzzzzot! There was a crackle of evil magicks, and a unit of Demons appeared to reinforce the Sternguard. They soon found themselves locked in fierce claw-to-fist fighting with the biggest unit of choppa Boyz. After much carnage, da Boyz got the upper hand (or fist).

Seeing the Sternguard gloating over the now dead body of Zelfdi Deztrukt and a piles of dead Grots, the Boyz bitterly vowed revenge. Well not really–they never really trusted the Shokk Attack Gun, and had little time for Grots, but they vowed revenge just because it seemed a very Orky thing to do. Charging the few remaining Sternguard, they cut them down.

Blood_and_Thunder__Ork_Warboss_by_wraithdtOn the right, the remaining shoota Boyz plus Glarsnot Bloodcurdle and the Meganobz assaulted the Chaos armour. The Vindicator and Rhino were pulled apart amid a cacophony of ripped and twisted metal, and the Noise Marines who had escaped out of the Rhino were then pulled apart thereafter (making a distinctively more squishy noise this time). Finally, the small band of surviving Boyz went up against the (shooty) Dreadnought, and killed that too.

The Orkish right flank had been entirely cleared of enemies, but at the cost of pulling the Orkish troops far from their own (now unsecured) objective. Realizing this, the Orkish leader gestured at da Boyz to pile into now empty trukk, and speed back to secure the dead pilot.

To the left, the Deffkoptas and Kanz had been busy, blowing up a Rhino in the centre as well as killing the Whirlwind and immobilizing the Predator. Another Rhino was pulled apart in the center by the Ard Boyz, who proceeded to push back the Marines inside.

A lone Marine and the Librarian tried to advance twowards the Orkish objective, but were tied up by the Killa Kanz and the short-sighted and absent-minded Tank Bustas who forgot that a Drop Pod is a vehicle and instead joined the melee around the Kanz. Just as the two lone Marines were killed, the trukk pulled up to the woods with the shoota Boyz, who once more secured their objective (and not a moment too soon).

By this time, all three Deffkoptas had fallen to enemy fire after outstanding service. This left only a single unit of chooppa Boyz to advance on the Marine objective, held by almost a dozen Marines and an immobilized Predator.

Being Orks, they ran forward.

Being Marines, they shot them to pieces. The few survivors sheltered behind an old Goatronium mine entrance, and night came to the battlefield.

The battle was a draw, although had it ended a turn earlier it would have been a victory by the renegade alliance.


2 thoughts on “Rumble in the Jungle (9.181.020.M42)

  1. In this case, a certain Kobold/Elven ranger who shall remain nameless had taken it to the Pride parade to take pictures–how could we compete?

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