Twas three weeks before Orkmas…

scifisantaOn the distant ice-planet Nordpole 2512, Santa Claus was busy making toys for all the good girls and boys in the galaxy, to be delivered simultaneously by transwarp conduits to a thousand populated planets on Christmas day. The location of his secret factory was one of the most closely held secrets in the Imperium—or so they thought.

In fact the secret had begun to unravel exactly year ago, when the renegade Mek genius Dr. Morork accidentally received a box of toys on Christmas. He hadn’t been a good boy or girl at all—rather, the unusual delivery was due to an error in Santa’s massive Naughty-and-Nice database. At the time the Ork Mek had hardly considered the matter, his brilliant but unorthodox mine being otherwise focussed on fomenting a Grot rebellion. That rebellion ultimately failed, and Dr. Morork himself was slain by the forces of Orkish orthoxy (as paradoxical as that may sound). Before he died, however, he downloaded his consciousness into his most powerful Stompa and then fled his volcanic island refuge.

Now Dr. Morork (version 2.0) had a great time to think about that odd parcel of toys and inedible fruitcake he had received. And think he/it did, cross-referencing the molecular composition of the fruitcake with the known galactic distribution of various radioisotopes of candied peel. Finally, after months of analysis, Nordpole was identified as the point of origin. With his very last Ork Kroozer and a small band of loyal (but really, really heavily armed) Grots and Meks he set out to conquer it.

The departure of Dr. Morork (version 2.0) to an isolated corner of the Goatronium Expansions did not go unnoticed, however. Da Grinch (and sidekick Maxx), the Greenskin commanders of the massive mob of footslogging Whozville  Boyz, noticed the Kroozer and gave chase with his own fleet. So did Grinch’s longtime rival, warboss Jaakvrozt and His Maniacal Mechanical Mayhem. The three rival fleets arrived at Nordpole almost simultaneously.

On the planet itself, Santa had little inkling of what was about to happen. The toy factory itself was guarded by a contingent of the Expeditionary Light Force (ELF) Imperial Guard, commanded by Commander Krys Qringul. This was reinforced a detachment of Space Marines, drawn from the veteran Retired Extra-Intergalactic Neutralization Divisional Elite Expeditionary Regiment (REINDEER). In reserve, they could call also upon additional Marines from Captain Rudolf’s Red Raiders.

With scanners unreliable at best due to high background levels of Goatronium radiation in the surrounding solar system, the Ork assault came with little warning….

Scenario Objectives

All Ork forces are rivals, and mutually hostile. While they may cooperate, there can only be one winner.

If the Imperial Player can retain control of Santa’s workshop with a scoring unit at the end of the game—and with no Ork scoring or denial units within 3″—then it is an epic Imperial win of the “holo-novellas-and-ribald-drinking-songs-will-be-written-of-this” variety.

Otherwise, the winner of the game will be determined by how many Christmas gifts each player controls at the end of the game. Christmas gifts are treated as moveable objectives. An infantry or walker unit in contact with a gift for a full turn can thereafter carry it, at a penalty 1 to its movement, WS and BS (total, not per gift carried). They will drop the gift if they fall back or are destroyed. Vehicles may not pick up a gift unless they have a grabbin’ klaw, nor may flyers, skimmers, or bikes. Units with jump/jetpacks may not use them while carrying a gift. Gifts are T 6 W 1 Sv 2+ with a 5+ invulnerable save if hit by template weapons, but otherwise may not be targeted.

The game will last 6 or 7 turns.

Forces and Deployment

The Imperial player deploys first and moves second. 1,000 points of Imperial Guard and 250 points of Space Marines will be deployed in lightly fortified positions around Santa’s workshop. An additional 1,750 points in Space Marines reserves will arrive by Deep Strike, or (skimmers/flyers) from the table edge within the original Imperial deployment zone. Each Imperial player should secretly roll for a warlord power for his character before the game starts. Ignore Master of OffenceImmovable Object, and Night Attacker traits—instead of these the player gains Target Priority.

Each Ork force consist of 1,500 points. These deploy within their designated deployment zones, which are 36″ wide and 6″ deep. Ork reserves arrive in these zones. Each Ork player should secretly roll for a warlord power for his warboss (or, in the case of Dr. Morork, the Stompa) before the game starts. Ignore Master of Defence, Master of Offence, Immovable Object, Night Attacker, and Princeps of Defeat traits—instead of these the player gains a second Waaagh.

Divide to Conquer may only be applied to one faction per turn (although the faction may vary from turn to turn).

Orkmas map

Before the game starts, each Ork player must secretly decide whether to attack at daybreak in a coordinated greenskin assault, or to try to beat the others to the prize with a hasty night attack.

  • If all Orks decide to attack at daybreak, then the Orkish players may deploy any and all units within their deployment zone. Others may be assigned to reserves.
  • If any Orks decide to attack at night, those players—and only those players—dice for each unit in their army: on a 4+ it may be deployed within their deployment zone, otherwise it is treated as in reserve. In this case, any Ork players who opted for a daylight assault are treated as if their entire army is in reserve, and must dice for its arrival starting Turn 2. The first three turns take place using the night-fighting rules.

Units arriving with the Outflank special rule may deploy from any table edge within 18″ of their original deployment zone. Snikrot may arrive anywhere (but remember, under 6th edition rules he and other outflankers may longer assault as soon as they arrive).

If all three Ork factions secretly commit to at the start of their turn to cooperate, all Orks take their turns simultaneously and none may attack another Ork. If they don’t,  the three rival factions secretly roll 2d6, and then may reroll one or die. The player with the highest total moves first. In the event of a tie, the ugliest moves first. Rival Ork factions are treated as desperate allies, and units will have to dice if they start the turn within 6″ of another Ork faction (unless they assault or shoot at their Orkish rivals that turn).


All rivers are covered in thin ice, and are treated as dangerous terrain.

Santa’s workshop is an AV 12 medium building with three fire points and an access point to the front, two fire points to each side, and one to the rear. The compound is protected with tanglewire and sandbag barricades, and has one ammunition dump. Santa’s Christmas tree counts as Imperial statuary. The defenders may also place three minefields anywhere on the board before the start of the game.


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