Every Who down in Who-ville Liked Christmas a lot…
But Warlord Grinch, who lived just north of Who-ville, Did NOT!
Da Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his orky shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his orky heart was two sizes too small.
But, whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes, He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown at the warm lighted windows below in their town. For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
“And they’re hanging their stockings!” he snarled with a sneer, “Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!” Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!
For, tomorrow, he knew…
All the Who girls and boys would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! That’s one thing he hated!
The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they’d feast! And they’d feast! And they’d FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on Who-pudding, and Imperial roast beast. Which was something the Grinch couldn’t stand in the least!
And THEN They’d do something He liked least of all!
Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They’d sing! And they’d sing! And they’d SING! SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who-Christmas-Sing,
The more the Grinch thought
“I must stop this whole thing! Why, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now! I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! …But HOW?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, ORKY IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he called to his boyz to get ready to spread violence about.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Orky trick! Me and da boyz,we’ll have our kicks! All I need is a wagon…
The Grinch looked around. But, since wagonz is scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch…?
The Grinch simply said, “If I can’t find a wagon, I’ll make some instead!”
So he called Doctor Morork.
And they assembled some bitz.
And when it was done, painted them red.
THEN they loaded dakka
And snivelling grots
Into ramshackle tanks
By now, there were lots
Then the Grinch said
And the greenskin mob roared
They would soon feast on Marines
And Imperial Guard!