Orkingrad: the scenario


Orkmas is, for many greenskins, a time of great rejoicin’, lootin’, and krumpin’. For the defenders of the Free Soviet of Grot and Mek Workers, however, it was to prove a time of great peril. The Soviet had been established on the planet Uessessarr during the tumultuous days of Doctor Morork’s revolt. There,  Gretchin and Ork Meks lived a hard life of proletarian toil, but one free from exploitation by brutal and avaricious Orkish warbosses.

Through the Mororkian Wars that followed, they were largely ignored. That changed, however, following the defeat of Doctor Morork’s forces at the Second Battle of Who-Ville. Recognizing the threat posed by workers’ solidarity, two large Orkish armies were sent to capture the Soviet. A prime target was the city of Orkingrad, situated on the banks of the mighty Volgrot River.

This human city has a layout remarkably similar to the legendary proletarian stronghold of Orkingrad.

This human city has a layout remarkably similar to the legendary proletarian stronghold of Orkingrad.

Attacking from the west was the footslogging 4th Ork Army (2697 points), commanded by warbosses Andrew and Daryl:

  • Warboss Daryl + squig
  • Warboss Andrew + squig
  • 20 Slugga Boyz (with big shootas) + powerklaw Nob
  • 20 Slugga Boyz (with big shootas) + powerklaw Nob
  • 20 Slugga Boyz (with big shootas) + powerklaw Nob
  • 20 Slugga Boyz (with big shootas) + powerklaw Nob
  • 20 Shoota Boyz (with big shootas) + Nob
  • 20 Shoota Boyz (with big shootas) + Nob
  • 11 Ard Boyz + powerklaw Nob + Trukk
  • 11 Ard Boyz + powerklaw Nob + Trukk
  • 11 Tankbustas + Nob + Trukk
  • 11 Tankbustas + Nob + Trukk
  • 15 Kommandos + Nob
  • Blitizabommer
  • Burnabommer

Attacking from the south was the 6th Panzork Army (1473 points), commanded by warboss Callum:

  • Warboss Callum + squig
  • 4 Warbikers + powerklaw Nob
  • 12 Nobz + Battlewagon (with Killkannon)
  • 4 MegaNobz + Trukk
  • 4 Warbuggies (with big shootas)
  • 1 Wartrakk (with skorcha)
  • 5 Deffkoptas with buzzsaw and bombs
  • Dakkajet

The city itself was divided into three major defensive zones. Sector South consisted of the densely built-up city centre. Defences here were anchored on the fortified bastion of Pavgrot’s House.

Central Orkingrad, showing the defenders of Pavgrot's House preparing for the impending enemy assault.

Central Orkingrad, showing the defenders of Pavgrot’s House preparing for the impending enemy assault.

Sector West was dominated by Mama Gretchin hill and its entrenchments. To the east of it lay promethium storage tanks and chemical plants.

The fortifications of Mama Gretchin hill, and the chemical storage facilities beyond.

The fortifications of Mama Gretchin hill, and the chemical storage facilities beyond.

Sector North was largely an industrial area, dominated by the Red Orktober Traktor Faktory.

The industrial district and Red Orktober Traktor Faktory.

The industrial district and Red Orktober Traktor Faktory.

The defenders (4087 points) held the east bank of the river, and could expect some reinforcements to arrive by boat. The workers at the traktor faktory were also hard at work producing Killa Kans for battle. However, no real relief could be expected until the arrival of the mechanical behemoth known as “Josef Stompa,” commanded by none other than the Great Mek Marshal Zuhkork.


  • Big Mek Rex
  • Big Mek Vince
  • Big Mek
  • 20 Grots + 2 Runtherders + Painboy
  • 10 Grots + Runtherder
  • 10 Grots + Runtherder
  • 10 Grots + Runtherder
  • 10 Grots + Runtherder
  • 10 Grot Worker Militia+ Runtherd
  • 10 Grot Worker Militia+ Runtherd
  • 8 Burnas + Mek + Mad Dok Grotsnik
  • 8 Burnas + Mek + Painboy
  • 7 Lootas + Mek + Painboy
  • 7 Lootas + Mek
  • Killa Kan
  • Killa Kan
  • Killa Kan
  • Killa Kan
  • Killa Kan
  • Deff Dread
  • Deff Dread
  • 3 Lobbas
  • 2 Lobbas
  • Looted Wagon (with Killkannon)
  • Looted Wagon (with Killkannon)
  • Lobba
  • Kannon
  • Zzzap Gun
  • Mega-Kannon


  • 10 Grots + Runtherder + Barge
  • 10 Grots + Runtherder + Barge
  • 10 Grots + Runtherder + Barge
  • Killa Kan
  • Killa Kan
  • Josef Stompa


Vehicle Movement:

  • Vehicles and bikes may not mount roofs or battlements, ascend vertical obstacles higher than 1”, or otherwise do some of the silly-looking things allowed under 7th Edition rules.


  • Roll at the start of each turn, starting on Turn 2: on a 6, it is raining or snowing that turn, and ALL terrain counts as difficult. Add one for each subsequent turn.

Case Green

  • Orks move first, entering from their command’s assigned table edge.
  • At least one Ork unit per Army (in addition to flyers) must be assigned to reserves.

Pavgrot’s House

  • Imperial bunker
  • Medium Building with battlements
  • AC14, 4 HP + Void Shield (AC12)
  • 4 emplaced Big Shootas
  • 1 emplaced Quad Deffgun (w/Skyfire and Interceptor)
  • Units occupying count as stubborn.

Void Shield Generator

  • Impassable Medium Building with battlements (or barricades)
  • AC14, 4 HP
  • 3 Void Shields (AC12, 12”)

Mama Gretchin fortifications

  • Aegis Defence Line with Tanglewire and Tank Traps
  • 4+ save (2+ Gone to Ground)
  • Emplaced quad Quad Deffgun (w/Skyfire and Interceptor)
  • Units occupying count as stubborn 

Mama Gretchin watchtower

  • Wall of Martyrs bunker
  • Medium Building with battlements
  • AC14, 4 HP
  • Ammo Store (reroll 1s)
  • Trap Door (within 12”)

Grot Defence Line (x2)

  • Aegis Defence Line
  • 4+ save (2+ Gone to Ground)
  • Tanglewire, Tank Traps

Chemical Factory

  • Promethium Pipes.
  • 4+ save (on 6, reroll for explosion)
  • Burna can count as Torrent


  • Four buildings, ruins, or fortifications may be booby-trapped.
  • Place 4 booby trap and 8 dummy markers to indicate this.

Endless Grots

  • Three 11-strong units of Gretchin must be placed in reserve.
  • These arrive in the usual way anywhere on the eastern (river) table edge), embarked on landing craft. The models to depict the unit must be available (from casualties).
  • Barges are treated as Trukks, with the following exceptions: they are slow, may reroll dangerous terrain, may only travel on water, and armed with a twin-linked Big Shoota.
  • All Runtherds are armed with Grotprod or Grabba Stick as the model depicts (instruments count as Grotprods). All units are assumed to have a Squighound.

Red Orktober

  • The traktor faktory is an AV 13 large building with 5 hull points, with the Mighty Bulwark special rule.
  • Two Killa Kans start the game in reserve. The models to depict the unit must be available (from casualties). These arrive from reserve inside the factory, unless it has been destroyed.
  • Units occupying count as stubborn

Grot Worker Militia

  • Grot Workers may fight as per regular Grots, but at BS and WS 1. They do have a Runtherd, but do not have a Squighound attached.
  • During the shooting phase, instead of shooting a unit of Grot Workers may instead try to repair a building or vehicle with which it is in contact. Roll a D6: on a 5+, recover one hull point.

Josef Stompa

  • Josef Stompa must be placed in reserve.
  • Dice for arrival starting Turn 3 (not Turn 2). It will automatically arrive Turn 5 (not Turn 4).
  • It must enter from the north, south, or east table edge, no closer than 12” to an enemy unit. If unable to arrive it stays in reserve.

Orkmas 2015: The Fighty Bits

And so it was that three great Ork armies, victorious against the squishy pink hummies of the Empire, fought amongst themselves for the real prize: the legendary (or at least quite-well-known) Forgotten Effigy of Yool’Ty’ed, whose awesome powers (if it indeed have awesome powers—that part is disputed by scholars) could lay waste (or at least slightly bruise) entire planets (or grots).


The Forgotten Effigy of Yool’Ty’ed, floating mysteriously in the air above the ruins.

This (maybe) mighty relic lay in a strangely gothic ruined cathedral, deep in the not-so-pretty part of Who-ville.

The not-so-pretty part of Who-ville.

The not-so-pretty part of Who-ville, looking north across the River What.

The devastation wrought by prior battle, massive planetary bombardment, and global warming caused by the Whos’ careless overuse of wood-burning fireplaces had caused much the snow to melt, leaving only patches.

The ever cunning Doctor Morork arrived at the scene of battle in a new cybernetic body and his very latest Stompa, fully kitted out with a Kustom Force Field. He was accompanied by one large units of Grots (accompanied by a Painboy), two smaller units, a squadron of four Killer Kans, and a Deff Dread. Fire support was provided by a battery of three Lobbas, a Kustom Mega-Kannon, and a Shokk Attack Gun. Overhead, a Dakkajet, Burna-Bommer, and Blitza-Bommer would provide close air support once they arrived from reserve. He deployed to the southeast of the town, behind the River What. His plan was to cross the river and seize the ruins opposite with two of the Grot squads. The Kans and Dredd would advance on his right flank to engage the enemy, supported by the artillery and flyers. Then, either the Grots would move the capture the relic, or the Doctor would do it himself in his Stompa.

Grots pour across the River, while the Stompa heads towards the bridge.

Grots scamper across the River What squeaking with barely-contained excitement, while the Stompa heads towards the bridge.

Da Grinch and his trusty sidekick Maxx deployed to the southwest. Their mechanized forces consisted of two squads of ‘Ard Boyz, a unit of MegaNobz (led by Da Grinch personally), and a unit of Lootas in Trukks. This was reinforced by a Battlewagon (with a squad of Nobz inside), a Looted Wagon, and a squadron of four Warbuggies. Four Deffkoptas were in reserve. The cunning warboss was reluctant to head too quickly towards the cathedral ruins, fearing he had too few boyz to get into a choppa-to-choppa slugfest with Scrooge’s massive horde. Instead he would send the bulk of his forces around the left flank, hoping thereby to cut off the enemy if he grabbed the relic. The Looted wagon would be sent towards Doctor Morork’s Stompa, hoping to distract or delay it until the Deffkoptas could arrive with their rokkits, and hopefully start to do some damage. The Lootas would hang back to provide general fire support, and try to down any bothersome flyers.

Which, of course, left the foot-slogging hordes of Warboss Scrooge. Scrooge had a deep aversion to too much technology, and as a consequence viewed Doctor Morork’s bizarre tinkering with cybernetics, grots, and genetic engineering as a perverse violation of the Ancient Greenskin Ways. His forces consisted of two large mobz of Slugga Boyz, two equally large mobz of Shoota Boyz, a squad of Tankbustas, a squad of Burna Boyz, Stormboyz (led by Zagstruk) himself), and Kommandos (led by Snikrot). The latter two, he hoped, would cause much mayhem in the enemy’s rear. Spiritual guidance—or, at the very least, strange chanting interspersed with gibberish and odd psychic pyrotechnics—was provided by a Weirdboy mounted top a magnificent almost-albino-but-not-really war boar.


Scrooge’s greenskin horde enters Who-ville.

Scrooge deployed almost his entire force in the center of the battlefield, hoping to overwhelm with sheer numbers.

Still more boyz--and the sole remnant of Who-ville's former Imperial garrison.

Still more boyz–and the sole remnant of Who-ville’s former Imperial garrison.

This left him almost out of range of Morork’s artillery, which he had deployed to the rear and considerably further east.

A mob of Slugga Boyz enters a destroyed building across the street from the cathedral.

A mob of Slugga Boyz enters a destroyed building across the street from the cathedral.

However, that also made him vulnerable to to the huge Deff Kannon on the Stompa. It fired, downing large numbers of Orks. Scrooge was not deterred, however.


The ridiculously photogenic Warboss Scrooge strides through a Deff Kannon explosion.

Morork followed up a little later with attacks from the air.

The Blitza-Bommer drops a Boom Bomb in the midst of Scrooge's massed boyz.

The Blitza-Bommer drops a Boom Bomb in the midst of Scrooge’s massed boyz, resulting in rather fewer boyz.

First the Blitza-Bommer and then the Burna-Bommer unleashed their deadly weapons into the massed crowd of greenskins, bringing down many more. The former took some hits from the Lootas, however.

 The Burna-Bommer follows up a turn later, loosing salvos of flamey Skorcha Missiles into Scrooge's position.

The Burna-Bommer follows up a turn later, loosing salvos of flamey Skorcha Missiles into Scrooge’s position.

Meanwhile, Da Grinch’s forces had begun their flanking move to the left. One Trukk was gunned down by the Supa-Gatler on the Stompa, and the Ard Boyz within eliminated by even more fire from the contraption. Not long after, a blast from the Deff-Kanon largely obliterated the second squad of Ard Boys, who had sought shelter in a ruined church. The MegaNobz disembarked, and started to advance slowly.

Da Grinch attempts to envelop Scrooge's left flank, but takes heavy fire from Morork's Stompa en route.

Da Grinch attempts to envelop Scrooge’s left flank, but takes heavy fire from Morork’s Stompa en route.

Despite all the carnage thrown his way, Scrooge’s forces reached the cathedral first. Guided by the Hand of Mork (or possibly Gork) himself (or maybe herself), Burna Boyz entered the ruined shrine to claim the relic and prepare to remove it to their territory.

The Hand of Mork (or possibly Gork) puts in an appearance in the cathedral.

The Hand of Mork (or possibly Gork) puts in an appearance in the cathedral.

Doctor Morork’s Grot troops took up position in the ruins across the street from Scrooge’s boyz, and started to trade shots and insults about everyone’s dubious parentage. The Kans and Dredd pressed on.

Grot-infested buildings.

Grot-infested buildings.

The Stompa destroyed Grinch’s Looted Wagon, gunned down the boyz in the cathedral, took out a Trukk and a Warbuggy, then climbed on top of the bridge, apparently headed towards the cathedral itself.

Doctor Morork towers over the battlefield, looking for things to stomp.

Doctor Morork towers over the battlefield, looking for things to stomp.

However, wily Scrooge had a trick or fifteen up his sleeve. Snikrot and the Kommandos suddenly appeared on the eastern edge of the battle. They quickly overran two units of Mek Gunz…



…and then hunted down the Shokk Attack Gun in the woods.

Big Meks can run, but they can't hide )at least not very well when carrying a giant humming Shokk Attack Gun).

Big Meks can run, but they can’t hide (at least not when they are carrying a giant blinky-hummy Shokk Attack Gun).

Not long after, Zagstruk and the Stormboyz landed to the rear of Doctor Morork’s forces, not far from the Stompa itself. Several drowned in the river, and others were shot down by Grots. Still, they posed a formidable threat.

The Stompa began to take hits from a growing number of Deffkoptas that whirled around it like so many angry mechanical twin-linked-rokkit-armed bees piloted by large green ork-like things. At one point, the Weirdboy even conjured up a giant Green Foot that krunched it a little.

Suddenly, freak atmospheric conditions plunged the battle into darkness! [1] Mere darkness, however, is not enough to keep greenskins away from a good battle. [2] Emergency lighting protocols were instituted.

Emergency lighting protocol Alpha Omega.

Emergency lighting protocol Orky Omega.

At this point, Da Grinch made his move. Waaaaaghhhhhh! Supported by much dakka from Maxxx and the Warbuggies, the MegaNobz assaulted Grinch’s boyz in the nearest ruins, all but wiping them out. The Battlewagon then advanced, disembarking its Nobz outside the cathedral and gunning down most of the survivors in the street. Even Scrooge himself was wounded.

Da Grinch's flanking attack hits Scrooge hard to the north of the cathedral.

Da Grinch’s flanking attack hits Scrooge hard to the north of the cathedral.

Meanwhile, Doctor Morork’s Kan’s had reached the remaining mob of Shoota Boyz, an a melee ensued. The Deff Dredd changed direction, and began trundling down the road towards the cathedral and relic.

In desperation, rage, or just to see what would happen, Scrooge announced his own Waaagh, and charged towards the Stompa from the front. Zagstruk and the remaining Stormboyz did the same from the rear.

As a Deff Dredd looks on in amazement, Warboss Scrooge and his trained attack squig Cuddles charges towards Who-ville bridge—and the towering Stompa atop it.

As a Deff Dredd looks on in amazement, Warboss Scrooge and his trained attack squig Cuddles charges towards Who-ville bridge—and the towering Stompa atop it.

The stationary Stompa was torn apart by Scrooge’s klaw, and exploded! Doctor Morork—or, at least, his most recent body, since his mind was hurriedly backed-up to a  storage device far from the battlefield—clambered out of the wreckage to face his green nemesis. The two grappled and klawed, as the Stompa continued to burn behind them.

The epic finale of the battle, as the remotely-controlled cybernetic body of crazed Mek genius Doctor Morork battles with Warboss Scrooge (slayer of behemoths) as a Stompa explodes atop a bridge and dusk falls on Who-ville. Even the bastard love-child of George Lucas and James Cameron couldn't write an ending like this.

The epic finale of the battle. The remotely-controlled cybernetic body of crazed Mek genius Doctor Morork battles with Warboss Scrooge (slayer of behemoths) as a Stompa explodes atop a bridge and dusk falls on Who-ville. Even the bastard love-child of George Lucas and James Cameron couldn’t write an ending like this.

Neither would survive the combat.

The game finished in complete darkness at the end of Turn 4. At this point Doctor Morork had 3VP (one for first blood, two for killing an opposing warboss in a challenge), and Scrooge also had 3 VP (one for a unit in an enemy deployment zone, and two for killing an opposing warboss in a challenge). Da Grinch only had 1 VP (for having a unit in an enemy deployment zone), BUT had sizeable force (Nobz, Meganobz, Grinch, and Maxx) nearest the relic. As is traditional at Orkmas, the game was therefore declared a draw.


[1] Following snow, ice pellets, freezing rain, high winds, and a sudden drop in the temperature outside to -20, the power cut out.

[2] Nor does it stop hardy Canadian gamers from gaming.

Orkmas 2015


Ork forces overrun Who-villle.

After the Battle of Who-ville the Orks quickly overran this distant corner of the Goatronium Expansions, despite a desperate rearguard action by the few remaining Imperial Guard and Space Marine forces. Terrified Whos (both the tall and the small) fled the planet, carrying what jingtinglers and floofloovers they could before they were overrun by marauding bands of greenskins.

Eventually the last human ship left. And with this victory, the Orks—being Orks—soon fell into squabbling among themselves.

Most of this involved disputes over who was bigger and meaner, who looted what, whose head was squishier, or how many grots could fit in a bucket. However, when a powerful and mysterious alien artifact was discovered on the planet, skirmishes turned to serious slaughter as three rival warbands sought to possess the newly-found device.


A mysterious alien artifact is discovered.

The first of these, of course, were forces of mechanical mayhem commanded by Warboss Da Grinch and his loyal aide Maxxx. Their army had played a key role at the Battle of Who-ville, and—in Da Grinch’s view—this meant that pretty much everything on the planet now belonged to him (or ought to).

The second group was led by renegade Orkish scientist Dr. Morork, whose unauthorized genetic and cybernetic experiments with grots had led to his being ostracized from polite Orkish society (whatever that might be). For Dr. Morork, alien technology was something he simply must have. While his mind had been downloaded into a Stompa after a near-death experience some years ago, his twisted cunning had become even more formidable.

Finally, there were the Bahumbug Clan led by Warboss Scrooge. Notoriously miserly, Scrooge refused to pay up for trukks, battlewagons, or other forms of transport and pretty much made his boyz footslog everywhere they went. He had been elsewhere in the quadrant when news of the relic’s discovery had reached him. It seems as good a reason as any to declare a Waaagh.

Rules: Warhammer 40K 6th edition, because Warboss Scrooge is far too cheap to buy the expensive new 7th edition given that it was issued a mere two years after its predecessor. The current Ork Codex will be used, however.

Scenario: The Relic.

Primary objective: Control the Relic at end of the game (3VP)

Secondary objectives:

  • Slay the Warlord (1 VP per enemy warboss slain, 2 VP if slain in a challenge)
  • First Blood (1 VP to first player to destroy a unit)
  • Linebreaker (1 VP for scoring or denial unit in enemy deployment area at end of game)

Special Rules: Night Fighting (on 4+ game turn 1 is night), Reserves. Roll for areas of snow on battlefield when first in contact: 1-4 shallow snow (no effect on game play), 5-6 deep snow (difficult terrain).

Game Length: Variable length, 5+ turns

The Battle of Who-ville


Who-ville was an Imperial-controlled planet on the distant edges of the Goatronium Expansions. The indigenous population of Whos were renowned for their kerplinkas and what-woozlers, Christmas carols, and delicious roast beast.

IMG_1776Neither they, nor the local Imperial garrison, was expecting much trouble.

IG Whoville

l56756-the-grinch-logo-65964However, on top of near by Mount Crumpit—ten thousand feet up—lived a mean old Ork warboss—da Grinch— who HATED Christmas.

“I gotta stop Christmas from coming,” da Grinch said. “Perhaps if da hummies and Whos wuz all dead?”

And then he got an idea… a horrible, cunning, Orky idea. “I knowz what to do,” said da Grinch to pal Maxx. “We load up with dakka and trukks full of boyz, den dakka dem impies until dey can’t make no noise!”


The Grinch was referring to the Imperial tradition of singing carols around the tree on Christmas morning. The Whos would sing in joyous celebration of Christmas, while the Guard would sing in fearful terror of the punishments inflicted by their commissars on those who failed to show anything less than the required degree of apparent enthusiasm.

The town’s defences included several platoons of infantry, heavy weapons squads, a Banebalde super-heavy tank, three Leman Russ tanks, four lighter Chimeras or Hellhounds, and artillery. Additional Space Marine reinforcements could also be quickly called upon from nearby, or from orbit above the planet.

IMG_1783Attacking from the west was mad scientist Dr. Morork, his fearsome Stompa, and his fanatical army of Meks and Grots. Grots on hover-boards led the way! Other Grots hurried to set up a battery of Lobbas behind a copse of trees. This would soon bring deadly fire down on the Imperial Guard in the town as they scrambled from carol-singing around the Christmas tree to their assigned defensive positions.

IMG_1791From the east, Warboss Maxx led four huge mobs of Choppa and Shoota Boyz through the sleeping streets of Who-ville. He could also call upon a unit of Tankbustas to strengthen his main assault, Boss Snikrot and his Kommandos infiltrating from the rear, and Boss Zagstruck and da Vultcha Boyz arriving by deep-strike.

IMG_1794From the north, down the very slopes of Mount Crumpit, would come da Grinch and his mechanized troops: a Battlewagon, Looted Wagon (with Boomgun), two mobs of ‘Ard Boyz in Trukks, Buggies, Deffkoptas, and a few Lootas. A Dakkajet and Blitzbommer would provide air support. Cunning as ever, da Grinch himself planned to flank march with a squad of Meganobz in a Trukk, hoping thereby to catch any Space Marine reinforcements by surprise.

IMG_1788Under the cover of night, Warboss Maxx’s boyz started their infiltration of the town. Not even the sight of a Baneblade in the town square deterred them.

IMG_1799As dawn broke, the greenskin air force roared into the attack. Dakka-dakka-dakka-dakka-dakka! This, together with the fire from the Stompa, Looted Wagon, and Deffkoptas, took out some of the Imperial armour (much to the relief of Warboss Maxx, who was worried about his boyz being roasted by the Hellhounds).

IMG_1804Shortly thereafter the Ork Stormboyz and Kommandos launched their attack in the Imperial rear, as suppa-rokkits from the Stompa destroyed the town hall. The former took out a tank and the Imperial artillery, while several squads (and much of the Imperial headquarters) were lost in the latter.

IMG_1813Imperial heavy weapons in the toy shop, a squad of veterans, and the sole surviving Leman Rus gunned down first da Vultcha Boyz then the last of the Kommandoes.

Meanwhile, the Ork mechanized forces began to approach the northern edge of Who-ville. They lost several Trukks and Buggies to Imperial fire, however. The ‘Ard Boyz crawled out of the wreckage of their transports and began to foot-slog towards their objectives.

IMG_1812To the west, Maxx’s boyz suffered heavy casualties from the Baneblade, but took out a Chimera and tore down St. Seuss cathedral on top of several squads of Imperial infantry and heavy weapons. The few human survivors from St. Seuss fell back towards the square.

IMG_1819The Tankbustas charged the Baneblade. They were soon wiped out, but not before inflicting some serious damage on the super-heavy vehicle.

IMG_1821Space Marine reinforcements were surprisingly slow in arriving.  Those that appeared in the town were immediately slaughtered by a mob of Choppa Boyz, and their Rhino torn apart with a power-klaw.

IMG_1822A Marine Land Raider and a squad of Terminators arrived on the eastern flank, intent on taking down Dr. Morork’s giant Stompa. First, however, they had to cut their way through the many Grots defending it. This proved surprisingly hard to do—although one unit of Grots was quickly routed, their defensive fire shot down two of the Terminators in the process. As the Grots scampered, they squeaked insults at the Marines.

IMG_1826A second squad of Marines with missile launchers took up position in the distance, and fired upon the Stompa. While they did some damage, the Meks inside seemed to fix any damage almost as quickly as it was inflicted.

IMG_1831The greenskin air force continued to bomb and strafe the Imperial force, and also tangled with a few Imperial flyers in ineffectual dog-fights. But where was da Grinch himself? He still hadn’t arrived from his flank march! Nor, for that matter, had several squads of Marines—so much for being a “Quick Reaction Force.”

IMG_1827A Leman Russ and a platoon of infantry hurried across the square to meet the Battlewagon and other Orky vehicles as they  entered the town. Would the Imperial tank destroy its Orky opponent before it could use its fearsome deffroller on the defenders?

IMG_1832We’ll never know. For at this point, the Whos down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, invited everyone to join them in a feast of delicious Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast beast.

The battle was therefore called a draw.


All the Whos Down in Whoville…


Every Who down in Who-ville Liked Christmas a lot…
But Warlord Grinch, who lived just north of Who-ville, Did NOT!

Da Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his orky shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his orky heart was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes, He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,

Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown at the warm lighted windows below in their town. For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.

“And they’re hanging their stockings!” he snarled with a sneer, “Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!” Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming, I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!

For, tomorrow, he knew…

All the Who girls and boys would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their toys! And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise! That’s one thing he hated!


Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.

And they’d feast! And they’d feast! And they’d FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They would feast on Who-pudding, and Imperial roast beast. Which was something the Grinch couldn’t stand in the least!

And THEN They’d do something He liked least of all!

Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small, Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing. They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!

They’d sing! And they’d sing! And they’d SING! SING! SING! SING!

And the more the Grinch thought of this Who-Christmas-Sing,
The more the Grinch thought

“I must stop this whole thing! Why, for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now! I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! …But HOW?”

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!

“I know just what to do!”  The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he called to his boyz to get ready to spread violence about.

And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Orky trick! Me and da boyz,we’ll have our kicks! All I need is a wagon…
The Grinch looked around. But, since wagonz is scarce, there was none to be found.

Did that stop the old Grinch…?


The Grinch simply said, “If I can’t find a wagon, I’ll make some instead!”
So he called Doctor Morork.
And they assembled some bitz.
And when it was done, painted them red.

THEN they loaded  dakka
And snivelling grots
Into ramshackle tanks
By now, there were lots

Then the Grinch said
And the greenskin mob roared
They would soon feast on Marines
And Imperial Guard!